Understanding the people in your world

As far back in my history as I can see, and it goes way back, I have always been a social follower and not a social leader. I’m comfortable with that!

The only thing that matters. Being happy. Happy with who you are is the only thing that matters.

Why is it that some people believe that “single” people are lonely? It has been over a year since my husband passed from this world to the next and I’ve thought (and other’s have said) that I have to get “out” more, meet people… heck TRAVEL! Why? Do they think that I am lonely? Do I think I am lonely because they think I am?

Is it possible that some people are just not social beings? I believe that we have social “leaders” and social “followers”. If I am invited somewhere, I will usually go. But, rarely (ok honest, never) do I plan or organize social gatherings. Is it just that I am a social “follower” and not a social “leader”? I do believe that a large portion of people are social followers.

If you know some social followers, you know who they are. They will attend whatever they are invited to attend, but never “host” an outing, adventure or party. Heck, even calling a friend and saying, “Let’s do lunch” is not in the social follower’s vocabulary.

Why is it that so many people feel the need to push themselves (or others) out of their comfort zones? What is wrong with knowing what you are comfortable with and sticking to that area? Isn’t comfort a key part of happiness?

Please do not think that the social followers in your circle don’t care. They do. Just because they are not initiators of the “fun” times, does not mean that they do not care or do not want to socialize with you. They are just not fun “starters”. They actually enjoy the parties and times together, too.

Now don’t get me wrong, we are not all social leaders OR social followers. Some people are both.

It is important for good relationships to understand these different qualities we possess and to accept what / who others are. There is a basic nature in us all that keeps each of us “comfortable”. There is something for everyone and when we come together (like pieces of a puzzle) we each bring our unique piece to the whole.

There is no sense in trying to make a “leader” into a follower, or a “follower” into a leader. No more than you can try to tell the person who does both, that they must only be a leader or only be a follower. It just won’t work. We are who we are.

So, the key here is knowing which you are (check your comfort level), which type your friends are and enjoy what you (they) bring to the table. It’s ok for you to just be you.

Lately, I have been feeling “stuck” and I realized today that I was trying to be/do something that is just not me. And I felt that there must be something wrong with me, since a lot of people seemed to know what I “should” be doing, or what I want/need, yet I couldn’t go there or do that. So, today I realized that there is nothing wrong with me. I am not missing or needing a thing. I am just me, being me, a social follower.

To the social leaders out there, please keep being you and keep “inviting” us. Just try to understand, we probably will not be calling you, or hosting events. It's nothing to do with you, it's just not in us (the followers). But, we truly do appreciate YOU!   KJ @ KJ-isms

Elevating others, elevating self!

Talking badly, or listening to others talk badly, about someone does not make you better than them. Some might think that if they are just listening to someone else say it, they aren't affected. Wrong. If you are participating in the conversation, you are part of the problem. You don’t elevate yourself by taking someone else down, you elevate yourself by lifting others up!   KJ @ KJ-isms

Trapped by Tradition

Why do we keep doing the same things, over and over? What “worked” back in the day, doesn’t necessarily “work” NOW.   Just because we have always done something one way, it doesn’t mean that it is the way it should always be done.   And I’m not talking about any one area of life, I am talking about every area of life.  Everything changes, but we hold on to old ways of doing things.  Why? Change certainly doesn’t come easily.  But change we must and change we will, whether we desire the change or not.  It is said that the only thing constant in life is change.  And if you think about it, that is so true.  We are not living in yesterday, yet in a lot of ways we keep doing what we did back then and expecting different outcomes. We are living in now and “now” calls for trying new things and trying them in new ways.  Embrace the changes and embrace new adventures.  Go out and make new traditions that future generations can change!   KJ @ KJ-isms

 

Your life is what you make it

I've always believed that anyone's "lot" in life is what they make it. It really doesn't matter how much or how little money you have, you can be a good person or a bad person. It's a personal choice. It doesn't matter what situation you were born into, it doesn't matter what situation you have had to live through, what matters is who you choose to be. For we all choose the person we become by the choices we make in life. I've seen people who have come from wealth and privilege, who make the choice to live a life of crime and those who come from absolute poverty and desperation, go on to live a life of giving. So, when I see anyone blame their circumstances or their background for "who they are" I say, phewy! A person is the way they are because that is the person they want to be.    KJ @ KJ-isms

 

Living in the Moment

 

Live in the moment! Easy to say, but hard to do at times. The truth is that this “moment” is all that any of us have. Our lives are just series of moments stitched together. It doesn’t hurt to make plans. Just keep in mind that even the best laid plans will change as the “moment” changes. So, if you are stuck in your “planner brain”, get up today, take a deep breath and say, “I am going to LIVE in today” and then just do it. If you take care of your moments, the future will take care of itself.  KJ @ KJ-isms

 

Good looks? or Good Relationships?

Searching for a good relationship is kind of like looking for a good book. What is really important? That it looks good on the outside, or that it has a great story and substance on the inside? Believe it or not, people are a lot like books. One can look awesome on the outside, but have no substance or joy on the inside. When seeking out the people you want to be around, don't be fooled by their looks, look deeper than the surface and find out who they really are on the inside! And if at first, their "looks" don't grab you, give the person a chance. You just might be pleasantly surprised.     KJ @ KJ-isms

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to tolerance. Tolerance leads to acceptance.  KJ 

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